Droppin A Few Names

The COND would like to thank the following.

1. Jake Foster for your amazing pallet.
2. Nick Rodrigues for reuniting David
3. D-Bo for all your inspiration of wasting life and writing a blog
4. Ton Face for helping to get the COND blog rolling
5. Matty Sill for your artistic touches
6. The Pletcher - Adams family (Tim, Gina, Dawson, Danny, Rachel) love the ranch!
7. All people with an S before their name (You know who you are)
8. Guests to our gatherings (Plan on a Camo party soon in '08)
9. Mike and Sally Meng for bringing us food
10. Black Santa (D-Bo knows)
11. My mom for getting me a vacuum
    
12. Winter, for giving me a reason to wear my new hoodie
13. Jen, Allison, Sarah (Suppie)
    
14. Sluke, cause it's always sunny with Sluke
    
15. SoCal - I mean really, I love hobos on my couch
16. Gusha and Young Life pals
17. Hopyard
18. Redcoats
19. Popi Lounge(Good times be had and the Popi, always)
20. SaddleRack
    
21. Josh Perry (remember Walnut Creek)
22. EDGE (nothing like paying top dollar to look more beautiful)
23. Food Network (minus Rachael Ray)
    
24. Heroes (Mondays 9, 8 central)
25. Ashley for providing food
    
26. Joel & Cara for renting out your home to people who are not home too often
27. Al Gore (so I can get on the internet)
28. Tate Bowen for being sooooooo cute
29. Kevin & Shannon for all you provide (yadda mean)
    
30. MLKjr. for giving us a day off work
31. Our Ladies...
32. CL
33. BP
34. CLC
35. Clego
36. JBC
37. MDM
38. RP
    
39. TB
40. Clarissa (my navigation) cause she explains it all
    
41. NY Pizza
42. Department of Justice for spying on me
43. Spice Girls for not coming back, oh wait, Charlie just said they did come back.... Give me cancer now!
44. People who keep sending mail to my parents house with the wrong address hoping it will come to the COND
    
45. Crappy Realty TV for giving me nothing to look forward to on tv
46. Perry Family
    
47. Pletcher for droppin it
48. Founders of the Lodge
49. You
    
50. Cuzo Crew now Cuzo Crew +T (The Wolf)
    

Top 10 Events in 2007

2007 was another amazing year with many memorable things happening. After minutes of thinking and brainstorming sessions with myself and Charlie we have come up with the top 10 events for the COND in 2007.

10. Flo Rida T-Pain (Get Low):
This was the best song to be released since Nelly's Country Grammar.

9. Renovated the COND:
A few new additions - 50" HDTV, some paint on the walls, Recliner on the Patio, A few more naked men (Davids).

8. I got a new hoodie and stunners:
Ya I did, gray hoodie and white stunners (I look like the unabomber) and Luke got red ones to match so when we cruz my whip we get all the girls holler at us! If you know what I'm sayin'.

7. Pletcher Ranch:
So I may or may not have shot Bambi, but it looked big from 250 yards away. Pletcher got a buck, Charlie got his first kill and Conley embraced his White Trash roots from when he was a child.

6. Fosters, Cody & Amy, Mayersons are pregnant; Bowens become 3 & Kirschner became 4; I became an uncle again and Jen is an Aunt (update that blog!):
Need I say more.

5. Charlie had a girlfriend:
She's Great!

4. Pletcher moved in:
The COND got hotter with this addition, but I think it may have brought down his stock of beauty being associated with us.

3. Peter saved the world:

2. David was reunited with his brothers:
After a reconnaissance mission to the border of Mexico another statue of David was purchased so he would have a brother and I picked up a midget David too.

1.5 Charlie was discovered:
Now a model with la EDGE and the face of all that is Downtown Danville beauty.

1. TheCOND.Blogspot.com
Yes, this was the #1 event because now you too can share in the beauty of all that is COND.


Stay tuned for the COND thank yous...

Why I dont watch movies

People talk about movies like it's the new coolest thing and if you have not seen it then you are missing out. As if I need to see a movie like I need water and clean oxygen. If you know me you know I dont like movies and I only talk about a few movies (Malibu's Most Wanted, Goonies, and Fight Club if I feel like being cool). Just so you know, this is why I dont like watching movies:

1. Cost - it may not be that much when compared to gas, housing, or the price of corn, but really $25 by the time I buy 2 tickets and knock off Sour Patch Kids just to be 'in', I would rather buy one of those crazy New Era hats.
2. My knee hurts - I have one of the weirdest things happening to my right knee. It's known as Osgood slaughter, ya it a real thing. I cant bend my knee for 2 hours without pain. Add to that the pain of a lot of poorly written and cast movies, which brings me to my next point.
3. Nicolas Cage is still working - Kevin Meng may be the only person who agrees with me on this one, but really another National Treasure movie, didnt we get all the answers in the last one? How many tard filled movies need to come out before we get the picture.
   
1. Movies like Who's Your Caddy, Norbit, The Number 23 and I Know Who Killed Me were released. Here is a discussion between two people about to see one of them. Billy calls bobby. "Hey Billy want to go see Norbit?" Oh Norbit is out, sure, just let me finish writing my blog, cause I'm an uber nerd and have nothing better to do."
4. I cant pause it - I just spent $7.50 on a liter of cola and I'm gonna finish it because I'm a good American and must consume it all. Once I suck all that liquid out my bladder is working on overdrive and my arm is twitching from the caffeine and I need to run around.
5. Strangers - Maybe I want to make a call, take off my shoes or burp from my cola, I cant, people I dont know get all upset. And what about that guy behind you who keeps kneeing your seat, thats not fun! I do the half turn of my head hoping he will get the hint, but he is too busy pounding junior mints to notice me and my sly hint.
   

I could go on and I'm sure there are others out there like me who would rather stay home and watch a free movie on TBS

Food, Fun, Nelly and John May

Last night I had the pleasure to spend some time with the legend John May. If you don't know John you are seriously missing out. The night started at Redcoats (see previous blog). Jake and Melissa Foster, John, Ty, and I enjoyed some fine food (the shepards pie is outstanding) and some wonderful conversation. John May is from L.A. and was astounding Tyler with his music prowess. He informed us of the new nelly track. So good... After dinner, Jake, John and I played some poker and continued catching up. Jake and John are two of my favorite people and they had me laughing so hard I was crying. It was an incredible night.

Oh What A Night - Downtown P-Town

If you know me you know I love Downtown Pleasanton and the major attractions it offers. Tonight the COND (minus Pletcher) went to the new Redcoats on St. Marys St. with Jen, Sarah, Allison Dan & Melissa + Tate, & Sluke. All in all a pretty good night, but the infamous 'upstairs' was more of a 1/2 level which took about 5 steps to get up to the 'VIP' room. None the less the COND presents... will have an event there soon, very soon. I, as well as Charlie and Conley got the fish and chips, but were rewarded with onion rings instead of chips because they ran out!! I expect onion rings every time now! My recommendation, try it, love it, enjoy it! Bigger story of the night (at least for Conley) was the 4 fire trucks barreling down Main St. to a fire above Quiznos - See photo.
















I love fires as much as the next guy - except this guy, it was his place - See photo.

















If you also know me, you know I love the Pleasanton Weekly and I read it twice a week, but I didn't see Jeb on this breaking story, so I will take credit for breaking it! Note the time and that I'm writing this an hour later. All in all another great night in Downtown P-Town!

Arrival of the SLUKE (cool hand Luke)

For those of you who do not know Sluke (Luke Peterson) and for those of you who do know Sluke, we are only days away from his much anticipated arrival. Yes boys and girls, Sluke will arrive in the Yay Area on the 19th, just in time to celebrate the 'Holidays' Greet him, love him, just dont ask him to be your Santa (see below).

Have you seen this MAN!

For those of you who do not know Charlie Spahn (SoCal) well, you should. He is in the region of the COND for a limited engagement and then off to New York for 6 months to 'live life' and get all cultured and what not.

Mini BIO:
Name: Charles Tyler Spahn
Age: Old enough
Relationship Status: Available(ish)
Home Town: Lake Forest (Outside Chicago)
Favorite Bands: Minus the Bear, Arcade Fire, Cold Sore Kids
Favorite Letter: N
Hobbies: Guitar, Skating (on blades), making mix tapes, not returning calls for 3 days
Favorite Holiday: Canada Day
Interesting Fact: SoCal once forgot he had a sister until he was reminded by a friend when they said, "Oh isnt it your sisters birthday?" To which SoCal replied, "Sister, I dont have a sister... He's a tard, but we love him!

Sometimes My Brain Goes Craz-O

(Photo just for fun! Sluke, Tyler and some Country Folk.)

Last week I went to start my car up and get it looking snazzy like it was going to the prom so I can sell it.
The problem was that I had not taken Sarah (car name) out for about a month cause I got a new car. So when I went to start it, you guessed it, she didn't want to go. I called my dad and he came out with jumper cables and we hooked it up and tried a jump, but no luck in getting it going, but lights and radio worked... My thought was an electrical problem. I called R.Lance and Sons out to tow it to Precision Auto Repair in Pleasanton to check it out. When Randy (truck driver) showed up he looked at the battery and it had a full charge, then he wanted to hook it up the the rig for a jump, so we did. Again, I tried to start it up and no luck. Randy walked around to the driver side and said, "try to start it again." I did and no luck. Randy then says, "How long has it been since you drove it?" I said, "Oh, about a month." Randy then very politely said, "Try to start it again and this time put your foot on the clutch!" Ya thats right I'm a tard. I don't know how to drive.

Happy Holidays, Seasons Greetings or Merry Christmas?

Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas, but not if you are one of the many people I came across last night at a 'Holiday' Party. Maybe I'm just a little too sensitive, but I really cannot stand it when someone says 'Happy Holidays' to me. Let me paint the picture for you... I receive an email for a 'Holiday Celebration' with decorations normally used for Christmas on the invite. So I think, 'ok, Ill go to the party, sounds like a hoot.' And yes it was titled Holiday Celebration. I get to the building where the celebration is at and as I exit the elevator my eyes are greeted by a Christmas tree which looks like an elf threw up decorations on it. I turn to the right to see another Christmas tree and a lady from the company hosting the 'Holiday Celebration' wearing one of those QVC host type Christmas sweaters with glitter, sparkles and what looks like real fur on Santa's Reindeer, you know the sweaters I'm talking about. She approaches me with a few items in hand:

1. A cup with a Christmas tree on it.
2. A napkin to match the cup, again, another Christmas tree.
3. A plate to match the cup the napkin and the sweater on her back!
4. She may have even been wearing Douglas Fur perfume, but I couldnt tell if it was her of the real miniature Christmas tree on her sweater, not really.

Back to the scene: I see her and say "Suppie (name removed) good to see you, did you decorate that beautiful Christmas tree?" She says, "Oh, no I didnt, but (name removed) got the tree from Home Depot the other day and spent hours decorating it and wrapping the presents under it." I said, "Oh sick, she freakin' went Craz-o on that tree and all the other Christmas decor look super festive for Christmas." She says, "Oh I know, doesent it look great, well, Happy Holidays to you." I thought, "Happy Holidays? Really? What does that mean anyway?" So I said "Seasons Eatings." Because that is just as stupid as 'Happy Holidays'. Why do I say 'Seasons Eatings'? Good question. 2 part answer.

1. On the food network they say it this time of year, and it is the only annoying thing about the Food Network if you dont count Rachael Ray.
2. In Super Troopers they have a little game of saying Meow instead of now, try it. People are not sure if they say now or really are saying meow. So I do it and they think "Did he say Seasons Eatings?"

It's a little joke I have with me and me.
All this to come to the point. We all know most of us are celebrating Christmas (even if you are not Christian) unless you are Jewish and then I would expect you to say Happy Hanukkah, to which I would reply I'm not Jewish, I'm Christian, I celebrate Christmas... So if someone says Happy Holidays I'm not sure what they are referring to. Is it Christmas, then say Merry Christmas. Do you celebrate Hanukkah? I know you are not referring to Kwanzaa. Or maybe you want to incorporate Christmas and the New Year into one greeting. Here is my thought - Jesus is the Reason for the Season. Just like the sign says! Lets celebrate Jesus and not try to pretend this is another dumb holiday like Flag Day or Groundhog Day. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Just a glimpse...

I got home at 9:45 tonight.

Charlie was fast asleep.

Tyler was laying on the couch watching Sportscenter (another Cond favorite).

Conley was still talking about all the ducks he killed this weekend (he was asleep too).

I just thought you might enjoy a little glimpse into what it is like to call this place home, to return to the COND night after night, to share space with the 3 other men who inhabit this humble abode.

Sleepy time. Peace.

HEROES on Monday night! -A night to remember

At the COND there are only a few things that are as some might call a ritual or custom. Basically watching Heroes on Monday night at 9/8c is when all else stops. From Guitar Hero to the basic needs of life like eating, sleeping and the all important intake of life giving fluids such as the famous water. If you are one of the few that have not seen this earth shattering show then now is not the time to start, but catch up on past episodes on nbc.com or download them. When you do catch up to the next chapter, then and only then can you fully enjoy this show which is almost greater than deep fried shrimp (which we make). If you are one of those people who does not like this show, then you must be a fool (no really a fool, a crazy fool and I pity you)! Here is how Monday night works. Back in the old days we (Tyler, Charlie and Luke) would start off the night by watching Howie Mandel on Deal or No Deal, again if you have not seen Deal or No Deal, catch up on past episodes. Back to my point. After Deal or No Deal was Heroes, The Heroes, and now since Deal or No Deal is not on we generally pre-game Heroes with Guitar Hero or Wii bowling. Thats Life! Get used to it!