Why I dont watch movies

People talk about movies like it's the new coolest thing and if you have not seen it then you are missing out. As if I need to see a movie like I need water and clean oxygen. If you know me you know I dont like movies and I only talk about a few movies (Malibu's Most Wanted, Goonies, and Fight Club if I feel like being cool). Just so you know, this is why I dont like watching movies:

1. Cost - it may not be that much when compared to gas, housing, or the price of corn, but really $25 by the time I buy 2 tickets and knock off Sour Patch Kids just to be 'in', I would rather buy one of those crazy New Era hats.
2. My knee hurts - I have one of the weirdest things happening to my right knee. It's known as Osgood slaughter, ya it a real thing. I cant bend my knee for 2 hours without pain. Add to that the pain of a lot of poorly written and cast movies, which brings me to my next point.
3. Nicolas Cage is still working - Kevin Meng may be the only person who agrees with me on this one, but really another National Treasure movie, didnt we get all the answers in the last one? How many tard filled movies need to come out before we get the picture.
   
1. Movies like Who's Your Caddy, Norbit, The Number 23 and I Know Who Killed Me were released. Here is a discussion between two people about to see one of them. Billy calls bobby. "Hey Billy want to go see Norbit?" Oh Norbit is out, sure, just let me finish writing my blog, cause I'm an uber nerd and have nothing better to do."
4. I cant pause it - I just spent $7.50 on a liter of cola and I'm gonna finish it because I'm a good American and must consume it all. Once I suck all that liquid out my bladder is working on overdrive and my arm is twitching from the caffeine and I need to run around.
5. Strangers - Maybe I want to make a call, take off my shoes or burp from my cola, I cant, people I dont know get all upset. And what about that guy behind you who keeps kneeing your seat, thats not fun! I do the half turn of my head hoping he will get the hint, but he is too busy pounding junior mints to notice me and my sly hint.
   

I could go on and I'm sure there are others out there like me who would rather stay home and watch a free movie on TBS