Pool Party at 3:00 on Friday 5-16

Swimzies...
B.Y.O.T. (Bring Your Own Towel) I'll provide the H2O.

Ridicu-list

A list of ridiculous things.

1. Guys who high-five when a song comes on (You can just give a simple smirk when Low comes on)
2. Wearing bandannas (it feels awkward when I see a real gangster wearing the same bandana)
3. Yelling at the tv (dude, I get it, Thorton missed his chance, he knows it, cause the Tank is booing him. I'm not Thorton, dont yell, I'm the only one in the room)
4. Bluetooth ear piece (take it out, you're trying too hard)
5. Tail Gaiters (unless you have flashing lights, get off my butt or ill pull my e-brake)
6. Thumbs Up (Thats not an answer to how ya doin, it's for smelly people with cardboard in their hand, so unless you need to get somewhere, keep the thumb in your pocket)
7. Blogs (dont people have better things to do)
8. Global Warming (I dont believe it, have you been to the Ranch? It's so cold when the sun goes down)
9. Free Range Chickens (if you're going to have a cause about something, lets not make it chickens)
10. Quoting movies (Wayne’s World was cool, was)
11. Texas (I messed with Texas)
12. Mother's Day cards at 5:00pm (3 dudes looking at cards, one guy leaves and you're mad cause you know he got the last good one)
13. Olive Garden ( I could fill up on a loaf of bread at me house)
14. Sunglasses Inside ( Bro, you could just come tell me you're legit)
15. Overdraft Fees (I'm already broke, dont break my heart and send me a letter telling me how broke I am)
16. Livestrong Bracelets (I like the cause, not the fashion statement)

Updated 17-23

17. Fireworks with Smiley Faces (And don't cheer for them, they can't hear over the noise of being blown up)
18. Camo Shorts (Ya, I can see your white socks. Unless you're Lt. Dan)
19. Movie Theatres (See a past post) http://thecond.blogspot.com/2007/12/why-i-dont-watch-movies.html
20. Rachael Ray (Seriously, two shows and a magazine! She is worse than The Oprah)
21. Albertos Cantina in Pleasanton (If you have ever eaten there you know what I mean, if not then remember this - 'Albertos, No Bueno!')
22. Gamers (...)
23. The fact that it's 11:45 on a Thursday night and I just added the last 6 Ridicu-list entries!

I Want a Marlin

I don't know what it is, maybe summer timre, but a Marlin would really look good above the TV. I was watching one of those fishing shows this morning while eating some fruit and thought "I need a Marlin". So what I'm sayin is if you know of a local marlin dealer let me know.

Pleasanton Police Ride Along

I'm currently writing this post from the front seat of a police car on my blackberry while listening to 99.7 and watching codes like 5150, 33, 34 come across our monitor. Yes our monitor because someone at walmart thought I was a plain clothed officer. Anyways I have a few minutes to explain. I'm doing a ride along for this thing I'm in with Pleasanton. My partner here tonight rules, I got to cuff a perp and pull over my junior year AP civics teacher. Currently we are in Pleasanton responding code 3 to a 5150, we requested back up from J12 code 2 once we arrived on scene. I can't get into it too much because its kinda like doctor client confidenciallity, but cop style, you know. Check out the pictures of me with an AK. Ya, I'm trained how to use the heat.

Pool Party - Bring Out The Floaties

On May 1st we will be turning on the heater to the pool and kicking off the summer.
Here is what we have to look forward to:

• Guess What Animal I am (made famous by Sluke)


• Tan Lines (I have a 16 so far)


• Surfing (On Charlie's back)


• Playing Hookie and swimming on Tuesdays at 1:00


• Luke will be returning soon, so pretty much anytime you want to swim, call Luke and he will join in.

What I like about Cancer

First Off...
(read this like we dated)
Hey, whats up, it's been a while. How are you, you look good, I, I guess. Your hair, sweet, seem like a SoCal kind a girl now... I heard you got into that program, thats really cool. So, I heard you've been lookin at Dan Bowen's blog too, thats cool, I guess. Oh! I saw your mom last week at the grocery store she umm, pretended like she didnt see me, and went down the pet isle and pretended to look at cat food, thats weird you have a dog that looks like a rat. Are you mad at me? I just took some time off to focus on my career (code for other blog). But I really like you and want your readership back. I promise I've changed, Ill write more, be funny and link to other blogs too. Will you have me back!? Really, oh wow, I wont let you down.

So... Ill write a bit more about the COND, hope you enjoy.

I was at the COND pool today for the first time this year (heater not on, umm... ya, if i wanted to scream like a girl I would have punched myself in the face, but before I get into what I like about cancer I must saw, COND pool party coming soon.

This is a warm up post for the COND future posts.

As Josh and I were sitting there soaking up the sun, and getting a good base in preparation for our trip to Cabo I realized this is such a horrible thing to do, not the exposing our bodies to the good looking people, but the sun cooking the white off my body. Cancer is bad, bad like Onion Rings at the Hopyard, but yet there is something so good about it. The feeling you get of the sun infecting your body with cancer, it's out of this world.

How to avoid cancer? No way to avoid... Sorry.

Cuzo Crew + T

In case you didnt know, now you know. Cuzo Crew + T.

If you google your name what do you get?

So I was thinking... Why dont I google my name and see what I get. Actually I do it quite a bit. And then I thought what would I find if I google other people I know.
Ya, I know what you are thinking why use google when there are so many other search engines. Well my answer to you is google is worth billions of dollars and thats my only answer.

Tyler Moxley

Charlie Meng

Chris Pletcher

Chris Conley

Luke Peterson

SoCal

Josh Perry

Sarah Burns

Jen Morse

Allison Auser

Let me know if you can google anything worth posting

So stormy and cooold,

This post was intended to be published yesterday...

I woke up this morning to the rain beating my window like it was Gaston and the towns men breaking down the castle door to get to the Beast and with a little tickle in my throat, so like any good boy I went down stairs made some coffee and noticed the rain was entering my patio like a renegade force dropping from the sky at a 37 degree angle and clinging to my cushions like a Jr. High couple. After addressing the water intrusion I returned to my home to flip on the news and in case you were not watching the weather report at 11:30 like me... here is what you missed.


















Ya thats the COND smack in the middle of what looks like my stomach after eating at the worst Downtown Pleasanton restaurant Albertos Cantina.

Now I dont normally stick around for half the morning in my sweats and neither does Pletcher, but today was a bit different due to scheduling errors... So this is what we were doing while the rain was trying to kill us.

Insert picture here (cant figure out how to send a picture on my new phone)

Imagine coffee in hand and fire place a blazing with our sweats being all comfortable!

Thats life...